Sunday 24th August saw 15 teams from across the UK battle it out on the Roller Derby track to be crowned Sur5al of the Fittest.

There was roller derby, there was cake, there was an after party and luckily, there was a bank holiday Monday to recover!  The Sur5al tournament was first created by the Royal Windsor Rollergirls in 2012 and has had many successful themes since then.  Sur5al of the Fittest had several twists:  instead of sitting in the penalty box for 30 seconds, players had to plank away their sins,  if their knees or stomach touched the ground, the clock was stopped until they were back in full planking position.  There was also an air-horn that brought fear to pivots everywhere, as it signalled a mandatory star pass.  The biggest (and probably most terrifying) change to the usual Sur5al format however, came in the form of the Gladiskaters…  A formidable team of 5 UK roller derby superstars who were worth double points if you could beat them.  Their hits were hard and their jammers sailed through, with Reaper beating his own Sur5al record and picking up a grand total of 60 points in a single, 2-minute jam and occasionally taking off and flying over the apexes!

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The Gladiators

It’s a good thing that the Gladiskaters were not allowed to win the tournament or any prizes as no one was able to beat them, though a few teams certainly gave it a good shot! Both team ‘Rebel Ink’ (Rebellion Roller Derby) and team ‘Seahorses Notever’ (Windsor and SDRD’s Shrooms) managed to pick up 3 jammer points against Team England’s; Rollin Stone R, Kid Block, Reaper, Jerry Attric and Trisha Smackanawa.

 

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The Smashed Lasagnas

Notable players on the day were The Mortician (Team Wales), R.I.P McMurphy from the Portsmouth Roller Wenches with her ever-huge hits, Roxy Rink Rash from Kent Roller Girls who always has a smile on her face (especially when landing a huge hit) and Team Vagine Regime’s chosen 5 – whoever came up with the name ‘Ovary Action’ won Sur5al for me!

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Vagine Regime’s – Ovary Action

The day was relatively injury-free as well, the main exception being the lovely Wu-Tang-Jam, jamming for Team Dave against the Gladiskaters.  She managed to land on her chin rather than any other body part in a huge takeout from Rollin Stone R.  Luckily the wonderful medical staff were on hand and patched her up (she’s fine folks!). 

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Seahorses Notever

Overall the winners were ‘The Smashed Lasagnas’ with 68 Sur5al points.  They were followed by ‘Seahorses Notever’ with 63 points and Suffolk ‘n’ Awesome in 3rd with 60.  Royal Windsor Rollergirls’ Cle-Blam-O picked up the award for most points scored in a single jam. 

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Suffolk ‘n’ Awesome

It was a fantastic day for players, officials and the audience, all of whom are surely looking forward to the next Sur5al…. stay tuned!

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE SUR5AL WEBSITE? A PLACE TO ORDER YOUR SUR5AL MERCH, ORDER A HOST PACK, FIND OUT ABOUT SUR5AL EVENTS AND ALL THE LATEST SUR5AL NEWS… www.sur5alrollerderby.com

 Words Abi Crowe, Pictures Craig Richmond.